Formal letter writing has never been a strength of mine. For the past few years I have had to write a few is search of work, dealing with teachers union and people to rub me the wrong way.
The internet provider in NZ is the worst. Just so bad.
Dear Telecom,
Sort your shit out, that’s right I’m not even going to say please. The internet service you provide is poop. Why my connection so slow, reminds me the days of dial up. Did you build a time machine, go back to the early 90’s and why yes the modern people of NZ will love this incredibly slow and useless speed at which to use the world wide web.
Get it together Teleco
m, get it together.
One organization wanted a motivational statement why you have decided to apply and what sparked interested in community service. Of course I wrote about giving back to the community that I grew up in and the importance of community service how is connects people, they feel pride in their communities and will work hard to keep them in a desirable state. Blah, blah blah…
Dear man or women
I was motivated to apply for this job by money, plain and simple. I would like to have some money to live, buy food and in a perfect world health insurance.
Yes, I would apply for unemployment if I had lived and worked in Oregon for the past five years, but I have not. And the great state of Oregon has deemed my qualifications received overseas less than adequate, I’m applying to this job which will not pay me a wage I can live on without assistance.
If I am successful in the application processes for this job I will have to get a second, just so I can live. Wow, that sounds like such fun. I cannot wait.
I am motivated to work for less than I’m worth, to work two jobs and to receive food stamps so I don’t go hungry.
So many cover letters, just so many have been written, re-written, stressed about and sent over the last few months. Most of them are just full of bs, the typical teamwork, hard worker, completing tasks to the highest standard.
Cover letters for teaching positions are even worse. You talk about these amazing teaching methods, which you never use, encouraging all students to achieve, catering to all needs, which is impossible, unless you want to be crazy and have no life outside of the classroom and how you enjoy seeing student problem solve for themselves, less work for you. I have had only two interviews for teaching positions. Maybe it’s my cover letter.
Dear man or women,
I would like a job.
I am smart and have an education plus the papers to prove it.
I can use a computer, photocopier and even a fax machine.
I can pour a pint, yell at kids and explain the Krebs cycle.
I have work a verity of jobs and like working at schools the best.
I can play well with others but prefer to play on my own.
I am pretty bad ass.
Call me to negotiate a salary.
