take the long road and walk it

back in oregon, looking, searching, trying to find my place here. i have been away, grown, learned, traveled and embraced a different culture.
i have had little motivation to get out re-insert myself back into the world. i don't want to conform to the rules/expectations that i lived by before. i have my own rules and expectations for myself that i live by now.
and i dont know what i what to do. i'd love to do something creative, make something, be active..finding it ..
until then i need something, something ...to keep me occupied,inspiration, some fun..

alejandro

i love Alejandro. i love listening to it in the car, at home, while running, drunk rolling around on the floor.
i have been thinking a lot about relationships. this has was brought on by the series finale of the hills. i never watch/got into/cared about this show. but being home a lot - Ive seen a lot of the last season. Kristen and Brody's relation fake or real i can relate too. i have a Brody. i love him, he sees us as mates. he tells me about all the hot babes he wants to hook up with cause he can't be with the girl he really wants. we fight, i get upset, we make up and back to being close again. my friends want me to ditch him, but i just cant seem to shake him from my system.our relationship has withstood time, distance and tricky situations. and every now and then he will surprise me, does something sweet and he is there if i need him. he is overseas and i am here. the rest is still unwritten.

scream at the top of your lungs

over one month in America. home sick for some nz lovin'. still looking for work, which has left me jaded and unmotivated.
I did get to spent a few days in cali, soaking up some sun, time on the boat and bonding time with my dad.
I would really love a night on the town. a fancy night. dressed up. cocktails and dancing until 3am. I would also like the girls and guys from nz to be there, cause no one know how to party like a nz'er.
i don't for seeing this happening anytime soon since i live in fg. one thing about living in fg, is that it is so far from everything- pain- your driving home and you just want to be there but wait you live in fg so it takes forever and you want to scream.